The Royal Knights of Gremblo

The Royal Knights of Gremblo is an enigmatic and secretive organization with roots that begin with (and possibly precede) the Second Era. The group's primary objective is unknown, but despite its prevalence in history, it is assumed disbanded or extinct. Myth has it that some of the members of the Royal Knights of Gremblo have reached a near-godly status, though their very existence is still rumor. To most of Phallica, the Royal Knights of Gremblo are merely another fairy tale.

Description
Little is known about this group's members, goals, power, or history, but what is known comes from the famous and controversial Gremblo Art Show.

The Gremblo Art Show
The Gremblo Art Show is the most notable and extensive document pertaining to the Knights of Gremblo. A handful of other documents referencing the Knights exist, including second hand accounts that claim to bear witness to the knights, but their content pales in comparison to the Art Show (and their reliability even more so). Nonetheless, modern Grembologists consider the works canonical and critical to the understanding of the Knights.

The Gremblo Art Show is dated by Grembologists to as late as the First Era on a number of bases, including: language, terminology, records of its existence, and references to events similar to other First Era documents.

The Art Show appears to have been written by three authors, each of whom wrote a specific story in their own language and style. At the time of its discovery during the mid-Second Era, the latter two stories used languages previously translated, but the first story was untranslated for a long time. Decades later, adventurers exploring the dangerous settlement of Scranton, Pennsylvania discovered that an unknown vampire successfully translated the document. They copied the translation, calling the newfound language the "Script of the Primal" because of how utterly primitive the writing was compared to other First Era texts. Grembologists hold that the Script of the Primal is most likely the oldest form of writing in Phallica, and the Gremblo Art Show is among the first written documents.

The only modern copies of the Gremblo Art Show are transcripts; the original document has since been lost to time. Its current location is unknown, but rumor has that the original copy resides somewhere in Pennsylvania.

The Royal Knights of Gremblo
According to the Art Show, the Royal Knights of Gremblo were a group chosen to unite and govern the Old Ones. Despite the appearance of a democratically elected government, the Art Show claims that the Royal Knights were merely puppets orchestrated by a select few individuals.

The few that worked behind the scenes are referred to as the "Jews," with their founder known only as "Oney." However, as the Old Ones grew in power and sensibility, a unifying government was no longer needed, and the Royal Knights (and presumably the Jews as well), fell out of power.

History (Knights of Gremblo)
The majority of the history regarding the Knights or Gremblo is sourced from the Gremblo Art Show.

Much like the Bibble, the tales of the organization are often regarded as fables meant to teach morals and strike the fear of Zach Hadel into the hearts of all that read it, however this is assumed to have had poor results due to there only being one copy of the Gremblo Art Show. Much of the history of the order is based on various different legends, most of which depict the Knights appearing in times of crisis and uncertainty to slaughter those who were considered "autismos". The most notable of these stories is the story of OneyNG and the siege of Sleepycabin. The story describes the founding of the Knights of Gremblo in the early parts of the First Era, during the the founding stages of intelligent life on Phallica. According to the legend, a young, primitive man by the name of Chris O'Neil had heard the autistic screaming of Zach Hadel, which had triggered a bout of evolution in his brain creating what is to be considered the first intelligent being. Chris' mind began to explore the potential of intelligence with the development of basic technology, agriculture, and even primitive magic, which was described as the harnessing of autistic energy as an energy source and the use of the soul as a catalyst for the manifestation of this magical energy, though this is just one speculation of the origin of magic. Chris, now under the name of OneyNG had used an unknown type of magic to create more intelligent life, blessing many of the early tribes with a basic form of advanced intelligence that allowed the groups to evolve over the period of many years to a primitive culture. At this time OneyNG had disappeared from history until the siege of Sleepycabin. Many thousands of years had past until the next mentioning of time in the Art Show, though this time is refereed to as "A Shitton of Time" and is assumed to be multiple millennia by many Gremboligists. Over the course of the evolution of the intelligent beings, several groups had formed, with the most prevalent of them being the "Sleepycabin" A small group that held the most advanced technology in the land of Phallica at this point. This group led by Captain Diqhedd ravaged the land for iron to create weapons which they used to conquer the other, more primitive tribes. The reign of Sleepycabin lasted many years before the siege of Sleepycabin. OneyNG had returned to the people of Sleepycabin for conquering the many tribes of Phallica, and with his two disciples, William Stamper, and Rice Pirate rained Hellfire onto the base of Sleepycabin before swiftly and mercilessly slaughtering the member of this group, women, children, men, and all that crossed their path. Though Rice Pirate had fallen during the siege, William Stamper and OneyNg had claimed victory over 9000 members of the group. Diqhedd was than sentenced to a fate of being "fucked by his father" for the rest of eternity. OneyNG had vanished after the siege, giving leadership to William Stamper, who had adopted the name "Frank the Fingerer" to invoke fear into those who apposed him. William Stamper, Rice Pirate, and OneyNG were dubbed the first incarnation of the Knights of Gremblo.

The second story in the Art Show detailed the life of Frank the Fingerer up until his ascension into godliness. Much of this story is lost due to the condition of the Art Show, though what is known is that Frank had appointed leaders of several primitive tribes to create the Jews before he had vanished, assumed to have ascended into godliness.

The final story of the Art Show is the third incarnation of the Knights of Gremblo, driven by the rapid advancement of magic and technology and the restriction of impact of the second incarnation. Between the second story and third story there is a large gap of time as noted by the mentioning of culture, technology, and the old ones in third story in comparison to the second story, all of which had progressed to levels that make them extremely distinctive from what they were. According to the Art Show, the decedents of the second incarnations had exiled the current Knights in order to reform the the organization, resulting in an entire overhaul of the organization. The Knights were no longer a force of manipulation but had become an enigmatic force that had appeared periodically throughout the end of the First age to fight in favor of a force called "Down Syndrome". The final story of the Knights details many sieges against the Old Ones and even against primitive Gods, but ends abruptly. The Art Show ends mid-sentence.

The Knights in the Current Era
There exists no credible documents of the Knights after the end of the First Era, but it is rumored through folklore that the Knights existed in secrecy to eradicate the force known as "Down Syndrome" throughout the Second Era before the rise of Autism. The force known as Down Syndrome had been responsible for the Plague of the Second Era, a little documented plague where victim's skulls would form what could be said to be a bicycle helmet and ride what is called the "Magical Short Bus" never to be seen again. There is sufficient evidence to state that this plague was in fact real, along with remains found of victims killed before they could ride the short bus. There is also evidence of an abrupt end to this plague and rumors of soldier wearing what was described as "The Armor of an Era Long Forgotten" by one sage's report.

Other Notable Information
It is to be noted that the transition between Frank the Fingerer as depicted in the Gremblo Art Show and Frank the Fingerer in the Second Era is a large mystery.

The Gremblo Art Show has many parallel events to the Bibble such as the fall of Bibbliioni mirroring the siege of Sleepycabin in that both were dated around the same time, both mentioned the fall of advanced civilizations by the hands of entities that had appeared out of nowhere, and both document mention a man by the name of Captain Diqhedd, though it is spelled Dickhead in the Bibble. There however is little in the correlation between Jimmy Cribs and OneyNG, such as Jimmy descending from heaven to do God's laundry and Jimmy drinking bleach because "Petey said to do it" versus OneyNG being a mortal blessed with intelligence and vanishing after the siege with no other context. The Bibble is also dated to be written during the Second Era rather than the First Era.

The Gremblo Art Show is both the most well preserved and oldest document to come from the First Era. Oddly enough the document is written on fossilized cock wood tablets.

The Knights of Gremblo has been described as wearing "Armor of an Era Long Forgotten" with witnesses in the Second Era detailing that much of the armor was constructed of what could be considered relics from the First Era and skeletal remains of organisms, that if the reports are to be believed, have been extinct well before the Second Era.

The speculated remains of Sleepycabin are estimated to be located around the area of Erie, Pennsylvania due to several geographical and anthropological similarities such as the discovery of several advanced iron tools that have yet to be dated in the region, the great lake known as "Lake Erie" still evident in the region, and a vast supply of raw iron ore in the area.

Criticism
It is important to note that while the Art Show has correlations to the history of the First Age, mages have criticized the document for its inconsistencies and absurdities in context of the divinity and identity of Frank the Fingerer, the depiction of the Old Ones during the late First Era, and the perceived intelligence of the Sleepycabin, when most estimates would place that period in time far earlier than when intelligent organisms discovered the usage of iron, alongside of the lack of artifacts from that time.